Faded

After that terrible day of the crash everything was gray. It had started off so well too, it was why we had left the house in the first place. It was a cool day with a bright blue sky, the clouds were huge and fluffy. It was my fault really I was the one who insisted we go out and enjoy the day. We had enjoyed the day we drove to each park and ran around discovered new places to explore.

I finally come out of my room just to grab necessities, a bag of chips, a couple of cans of dew, and I’ve gotta be sorta healthy so I grab the jug of apple juice. As I’m retreating back to my room I hear the voices, as weird as it is after the crash I hear color more than I see it, my friends arguing with my grandparents make me think red. “Of course we can visit her!” they yell. Another flash of red, a little brighter this time. My grandmother's teal colored calming voice is the last thing i hear as I softly close my door.  What they don’t realize is my grandparents aren’t keeping them away, I am. I haven’t been able to look at anyone or anything the same. It’s so hard talking to my own family, they think I can handle the looks of pity my friends always give me when I see them? Everything around me as my already dark mood worsens. Not happening. I’m supposed to go back to school next week, I can’t bare the thought of finishing school without them.

I shudder as I recall the nightmare from last night, my mom's scream of terror, the agony of hearing my siblings cry but not being able to help them. The man in the yellow mask pulling me out of the burning car, the flames reach so high. The numerous colors of the flames red, orange, yellow. Some parts were almost a neon green where it mixed with the fumes and oil. That was a fireman I recall now. He wasn’t able to help them anymore than I was, they were already gone. Why did I have to be the only that survived? The vivid colors in my mind faded back to the gray I’m used to now, as I pushed away the dream.

The rest of the week passed so quickly, it was time for school. I walked to my car and just sat there for a while, it’s probably blue to most people but not to me, along with everything else it faded to a gray. The pure terror pulsing with my heartbeat I felt merely sitting there were like bright flashes of white hot lightning. Slowly I shifted into drive and released the brake. I realized as I pulled up to the stop sign that I actually kinda missed driving. After a further thought I mentally told myself to let them go let them be free, as I did I turned and kept driving I looked around in shock the colors were slowly returning to the world. For the first time in months I allowed myself a small smile, I was going to be fine.